Usually I have a pretty good intuition; Dreams or seeings are whispering to me – some times yelling.
Death has been close to me, in a way, for years. Even dear to me.
Eight years ago; When my mother died from cancer, I was with her the last two weeks of her life.
Life becomes so real in the meeting with Death. Everything unimportant becomes so… unimportant. It falls by itself, and only Love is left.
In the middle of the pain and the sorrow, the sunshine and the beauty; Death became precious to me since then.
Death allows us to Love, unconditionally.
That is what I experienced with my mother. I could shower her with Love, in a way I had not dared to, or felt allowed to, earlier in life. And she received it.
What is holding us back from meeting and receiving each other so real, so naked – as Love – the rest of the time?
What is holding us back from Being Love?
Death has visited me, through years. In dreams, visions, “experiences” – and in practical, physical life.
I sat with Death for 6 days and nights, by my fathers side – when he left the body 3 years ago.
I don’t fear Death.
But still I have days or moments when tears are flowing, in the thought of leaving this beautiful play of life… This life that is so precious to me, so dear…
When I allow the tears to take me, to break me – in the end, they always transform into tears of Love and Gratitude. Or laughter.
What else can I say to Life, than thank you?
Death has been so present in me through these last years. Many times I have seen myself in the mirror, and I have seen Death there, in my own eyes.
“Are you here, already?”
The question has come in Wonder. Not in fear.
Yes, Death has been so close. But in these last months, while the cancer must have been coming back, growing and spreading in my body – I have not sensed it – I did not see it coming.
Suddenly it was Here.
Just like that.
Leave a Reply