This is a blog about living with fourth stage cancer and about facing death. Living n Dying – in the light of meditation and the depths of self discovery. It is written by Savini Aspholt.
Background
I was diagnosed with a rare type of triple negative breast cancer in August 2022, when I was 45 years old. In the weeks and months that followed, I went through mastectomy* of the right breast and chemotherapy treatment.
Two years after the original cancer was found, in August 2024, the spread of cancer was detected. Metastases was found six different places in the body.
I am the mother of two beautiful girls in their early twenties.
Meditation
For almost 20 years, my life has been about meditation and self discovery – all in the light of being with my spiritual Master, Vasant Swaha. I have been involved in running the meditation center Dharma Mountain in Norway (one of the places where Swaha is giving Satsang in retreats several times per year) since 2012.
Specially close to my heart are techniques as Self Inquiry, Vipassana / Silent Meditation, Rebirthing… and, believe it or not; meditating on death.
I have had a love affair with the awareness of death for years. In my experience; there is nothing that gives a stronger reminder and wake-up call for us to become aware that we are alive now – and to reflect about how we live our lives. For me, meditating on death or facing death, has again and again worked as a short-cut to get in touch with what is essential for me.
I now live with four stage cancer. Facing death is not a “visualization” or “imagination”. It is here, in my own body. I don´t know how long time we talk about. Weeks? Months? I have just started immune therapy treatment. If it works, my oncologist** says I might still get some good years with good life quality.
He does not know. I do not know.
Sharing
I bought this domain livingndying.com some months ago, with an idea for a more “journalistic” kind of sharing; interviews with different people about facing death and how facing death changes our perspective on life. Now it will start as a blog; sharing about my journey with fourth stage cancer, immune therapy treatment, pain relief, facing sickness, the decay of the body… It will be a blog about meditation, self discovery, being with a Master – my path in life, and death.
I have no idea how it will unfold. This is not the moment for long term plans…
Who am I writing for?
I write for fellow travelers; Those who are close to me, the beloved Sangha around Vasant Swaha… and for anyone else who feels connection with what I share.
We are all “fellow travelers” in this human experience, in the journey of life – and death concerns us all.
Let´s talk about death…
I want this website to be a place we can talk about death; not as an enemy, but as a natural part of life. A place where death can come out in the open – and we can explore what is the most important for us, when we know that time is short.
Comments on the posts are most welcome! I will probably be on and off in answering – but I will dive into it once in a while, as long as my health allows it ❤️
With Love,
Savini
Norway, 13th of September 2024
mastectomy* – surgical removing of the entire breast
oncologist** – doctor with specialization in cancer