Tag: fourth stage cancer
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nothing should have been different
I will not pretend it’s not challenging to live with pain in the body. It takes energy, and my attention is easily drawn to the sickness and the pain. The types of pain are changing, and it takes time to adjust and balance the pain-killers. I have been tired lately. For a while I felt…
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the inner unfolding
I am landing back home after the stay in the rehabilitation centre.The valley is white and quiet. Silence embraces me, nourishes me and helps me giving space for the inner unfolding that is happening. I have rested deeply, and slept a lot. Some of the medicines are also making me tired ☺️ Layers of self-doubt…
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my only prayer
«Do you know why?», a fellow patient in the rehabilitation place asks me. She is talking about the cancer in my body. She is a beautiful, intuitive woman. An alternative doctor I met some time ago, commented on that the imbalance in my body, started 8 years ago with a benign tumor in my breast,…
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on a crispy winter day
The winter day is crispy outside my window. A little bird is dancing in the air between the feeding spots, and the sunlight floods the naked trees in nuances of orange and peach. The sound of one of the cats eating. Except that, silence is all I hear this morning. «Life goes on without me».There…
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to see each other one more time
My carry-on luggage this time consists of pillows and medicines. And a letter from my oncologist, confirming that I need the morphine for own use. I have traveled to Brazil, together with my two beloved daughters. At 10 in the morning, the day after chemo- and immune therapy treatment, we left Hedalen (Norway). I will…
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a surprise after chemotherapy
I woke up with beauty in my face. The sunshine outside the window. The thin, gentle layer of mist among the trees, before the sun breaks through it all, and makes it evaporate. My own heart blooming in my chest, glowing through my face. The play of light and shadow on the windowsill. Yesterday I…