Tag: trust
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a whisper in the white
NB: The post is written more than a week ago. After days without color – blue sky is again opening its gentle smile. Clouds dancing, evaporating and appearing; unveiling the silhouettes of the mountains. Like a whisper in the white. It doesn’t really have a name, this time of year. It is neither spring nor…
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the beauty under the eyelids
Maybe a blog post will come today, I suddenly thought. I am sitting here by my window in a rehabilitation center close to the hospital. Last week I started daily radiation treatments of the brain. From yesterday, radiation of the tailbone and hip was included into the schedule. The view from my window is beautiful…
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on a crispy winter day
The winter day is crispy outside my window. A little bird is dancing in the air between the feeding spots, and the sunlight floods the naked trees in nuances of orange and peach. The sound of one of the cats eating. Except that, silence is all I hear this morning. «Life goes on without me».There…
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nowhere to go
The oncologist calls me, with shaken voice, and he does not go straight to the point. The MRI results shows five tumors in my brain. Three of them are very small. Two are big. He asks me to take cortisone at once. It will not shrink the tumors, but hopefully it can release some of…
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to see each other one more time
My carry-on luggage this time consists of pillows and medicines. And a letter from my oncologist, confirming that I need the morphine for own use. I have traveled to Brazil, together with my two beloved daughters. At 10 in the morning, the day after chemo- and immune therapy treatment, we left Hedalen (Norway). I will…
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we are not strangers
It is funny; I cannot describe how she looked, or what clothes she wore. Only her energy, and the atmosphere around her. We met in the backseat of a shared taxi, going home from the hospital in Gjøvik. A beautiful, older woman – with a shining smile and such an aliveness in her being. Already…
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a sharing about decay, or about who we are
Driving to the hospital in Gjøvik is cozy. Trees still bursting in color and beauty along the road. Celebrating the season, the changes – life, death, aging, let-go… The autumn is getting darker. Rainy days. Low clouds. Longer nights. Shorter days. For me too; Many times I stay in bed for 14-15 hours a…
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like the eternal night sky, and the golden autumn light
It is a sunny day with blue sky – and the golden autumn light is flooding the mountains, the forest and my living room. Life is so mysterious. I am tired after chemo therapy yesterday, it is a slow moving day. If I just go with what is; it gives a relaxation, I can rest…
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where I always have been
I am in the hospital, receiving the fourth dose of chemotherapy when writing this post. I have had one weeks break from the chemo treatment; The body has been better, with more energy. I have been able to do more. Except from the pain in the knee and in the tailbone; some days I have…
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a surprise after chemotherapy
I woke up with beauty in my face. The sunshine outside the window. The thin, gentle layer of mist among the trees, before the sun breaks through it all, and makes it evaporate. My own heart blooming in my chest, glowing through my face. The play of light and shadow on the windowsill. Yesterday I…